suGar*BitcH

2005-12-17T03:37:00.000-08:00

this blog is dead

pls refer to : www.vintagevoguerosa.blogspot.com

2005-09-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

leaving on a jet plane*

gradually, time unconsciously slips us pass by
by the time when you stop and take a good look around
you will be surprised how we have changed
i will think of you when i see a smile
i'll put you somewhere safe that no one will knows

when i return back to where destiny brings
i promise i will wear your wedding ring
may we be covered with lies and sin

deep down
with everything that i've been through
i treasure every moment we shared

2005-06-19T10:08:00.000-07:00

the 45 degree*

u don't have to pretend to be someone u are not
instead some are born with that flaunt to carry that poise
don't ask me questions that u dun have answer too
its been awhile that u see me like that
forget abt the roses and music
they are beyond the realist existance
perhaps they are not mine

i have to make my own mistakes to learn life
without my ladies there will not be me
stay with me
i promise

*say it with the girl

2005-06-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

let me be*

this is what ppl see in me
on the surface of the plastic world
to you this is wat i am
but u failed to realise the girl that i am made of
is not tough steel or giltzy diamonds
instead a true flesh heart

you try to read me
you try to figure out
but u can't blow me away
think that u know me now
but u can't see my philosophy

stop pretending you know it all
time is irreversable
the truth hurts
but i am stronger than u think

dun play with me
when u know the rules are too painful
kiss me good bye

2005-06-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

share the passion*

there's a million ways to percived the feeling that i am going through
i am a cross breed of happiness and sadness
i miss his presence, the times when i was called and treated like a princess
i enjoy the private time to myself
nonetheless i felt the lonliness that creapt through the tiny windows of mine

my dreams was beautiful because of you
no matter how much time i have here
its not the place i call home
the warmth that i desire for since the moment i had you
tell me
will you still remember my smile when a century pass
or this will fade with the time that we learn to forget

all i just want to is to feel secure
security do come with a price

2005-06-07T04:29:00.000-07:00

i live to eat*

crame caramel dessert!!!!!

its heavenly.. its a divine creation for the souls

that smooth and chill semi sweet milky

taste pudding that melts in ur mouth

when u put it in

that infinate everlasting moment

i could hold on forever

i am capture by that time frame

i want u!

people!

we have to eat this great dessert

i think so far mark and spencer is the best

and yea

only a week more!!!

i will be back!

2005-05-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

losing my charming*

blogging is so meaningless these days
maybe there's nth much special for me to write it down
perhaps one day i will find the best words to descibe myself
i am in trance
exams are ard the corner and guess wta vivien is not in the mood for it
though for all these time i have been waiting for this moment to be back where i belong
i realised i have attached myself to this unknown place unconsciously
not wanting to leave here
i will miss every single one of you

konomi*
it will be some time before i get to see u again.. i will miss the days we met and the days we spent together u are the one that brought all these colours to my life.. the one for me whenever i needed that extra comfort help and the best shopping buddy in london's oxford circus.. i can go on forever as u have been the best girl in my life

2005-05-15T11:08:00.000-07:00

once again*

time flies and passes by all the time in front of my eyes.. staring at the same spot of space wondering whats going to be behind this truth that i am blinded with.. for many a times i am the most difficult person on this planet and that i am not sure what exactly makes me happy

i am cold though i am feeling ur warmth in your hands.. i am dry though ur lips was moist.. i am crying though u are smiling to me.. tell me things that i can help myself

in pain*

2005-05-12T06:42:00.000-07:00

mushed almond tart*

time is timeless
your presence is faithless
the realism behind the truth is unjustified
you are blinded by the lies
i am a fool of this love game
which walks away with shame

2005-05-06T02:51:00.000-07:00

rock and roll baby*

im so bored that i am typing aimlessly.. well the bright side of it pracrise my typing.. though i know i will be the slowest typist in the world.. watever.. sch is so boring i can't get my mood to study and full blast.. perhaps i am so sick of studying.. gosh i need some medication

i want get back to singapore at this instant.. but there's something holding me back too.. the fact that there's loads of reality i need to slove and face but i am too weak to face reality.. how i wish i can get real with my philosophy afterall its jux some hypotheses that ppl creat to provide answer that they dun have.. speaking of which.. exams is jux ard the corner and i am so drained on work.. heaven sake i need to be moving fast and focus but i can't especially with the weather is so nice now!

wats up with this bloody place.. have exams at the best weather they can wish for.. its time to change that medival concept english men! i need some english tea now!

*gggrrrr

2005-05-06T02:34:00.000-07:00

fall to pieces*

its been some time i do some decent blogging
there's loads i wan to talk abt i wan to scream out and wispher into ur ears
but it doesnt feel good at all
its still trap within me
i fear of fear
i hate to run away but i am too weak
i dunno wat i want
wat does ppl want from me
i have nothing to offer

do u understand wat i really want

and that u all had me in the first place

but life is too short to miss out on details

i dun wan to be girl that i am not

*coz im not the girl u used to know

2005-04-25T02:38:00.000-07:00

im back*

for the longest time i am back to update
sorry peeps
its so "not" my fault
well the internet at home is ulterly screwed up
so i can't log on to do any updates

not to mention
i have been so busy with revision
that i am still down with some bloody flu
sniff*

well life has been pretty much the same for me
and i can't believe i will be back home for another 1 month and 2 weeks
yay!

u guys better make time for me i dun care!
and peeps lets head to indochine for nice posh dinner
i'll be back on the 15th of june so ppl lets chill

*miss u guys tons

2005-04-06T12:32:00.000-07:00

my tears will always rain in the city*

once a wise man said
people who met in the rain will always be good friends
perhaps thats a myth

if only one day
the dreams and love we hold and keep
will that day still come
the day we are together
if i were to pass u a clover leaf
will you be the one next me

if love is that true and real
will i still be able to hold in my warmth
if one day i were to fade away with the time
will you still remember me
if only we were children
will we be sweet heart lovers
if it starts raining
will you feel my tears

*love in the rain

2005-04-02T04:20:00.000-08:00

dream dream dreams*

i was lonely and cold for a long time
but u came and ignite my passion
for the longest time i felt
i am going to be yours again

u had ur uncertainites
but i am gald
that it didnt stop u loving me
perhaps all these are just an illusion
a mirage that i dun wan to wake up

a dream that i wan to hold for it forever
u make my day
everyword u spoke burns my darkness
all i want was to be your lady

2005-03-30T02:59:00.000-08:00

i m fine*

thank u all so much for all these time
no worries i am getting better
i am back to my 2 feets
and ready to take another storm :)

2005-03-27T12:34:00.000-08:00

FreeVideoCodes.com

2005-03-26T06:52:00.000-08:00

set me free*

i am so exhasuted
from all these
i am tearing for no reasons
all i wanted was someone to be there for me
i dun tink i can handle another emotional breakdown
i just want someone who will hold me tight to slp
thats all
i dun care whether love is in the picture
i need some human touch
jux one nite
thats all

2005-03-23T03:36:00.000-08:00

the voice within*

my world has had stop spinning the day i left my space
i try and i did my best to fill the emptyness inside me
but who is to do that for me
sometimes i wish if things could be simpler than it is now

whats going on with the world that we shared
y do i subject myself to the lie of this superfical surface
do true happiness exist the way ppl tok abt
i could not bring up the courage to trust the voice within

many atimes i try to walk away
and not think abt it
but the truth is that i lied
hid myself behind the unexplainable philosophy

i got to let you know the day u went i feel so weak
when i look into your eyes i let you go
i just broke down
though my face did not crack it up

sometimes i just wanna to sleep through it
rather all these be the dream that i will nv wake up
perhaps i have been living in a fantasy

2005-03-21T03:11:00.000-08:00

can't get u out of my head*

another boring day
today is so unecessay
coz while the rest of the sch in UK is having holidays
our sch decided to have another week
fucked
i need to rot at home so much
sch is getting monotonous
btw since when it was fun
can't wait for march to sweesh by
i need something to get me to start my revision
i can't wait to revamp my room
but it will be so dumb to do it now
coz another 2 more months i will be for my holidays
flying away*

2005-03-16T03:49:00.000-08:00

gum chewing*

i am addicited to fresh mint gums lately
weird!
alrite i went for my hip hop lesson last night
i love the feeling of dancing
can't get back to sway with the beats
i think i have burn calories
perhaps onli 1 cal
cozi dun see any difference
wat the hell i am toking abt
i wan to go london
shop till i drop
now!
i need peaches and evian H2O
peace out

2005-03-13T08:20:00.000-08:00

are u ready*

mens cramp*
anyway life has been a bitch
but i managed to sail thru it with the huge storm ahead
anticipating for my easter holidays
i am revamping my room again
seriously need to get on my diet
i went swimming on sat
my leg hurts like hell
i am into salsa dance now
my personal tutor is a cow
i finished a 2L of Evain water in 30 mins
bloated like a balloon now
i am so screw
coz i haven started on my 3 pages long essay
the end*

2005-03-03T05:50:00.000-08:00

all my people on the floor*

its offical my papers are over.. for the time being.. of cuz guess wat we ppl in this college has fucked up the papers.. haha.. damn.. how much can i express my love for my fellow mates here.. haha.. we are so screw and we went clubbing that night before the psychology papers.. and not to mention the international night that we are heading tonight.. are we insane for wat.. haha..

alrite i admit that tues night in Fez club was so hot that i haven seem to recover from the adrainline rush now.. and yea it was like on tues night we decided to club at fez for the hip hop rnb night.. guess wat i guess the enitre hip hop black community in cambridge has gather to rock the floor and that we did not miss a beat.. its like dat's yo

wat a twat.. anyway.. we were so hot on the dance floor.. 7 girls including me were the center of the attraction.. gosh.. it was too hot to forget.. and thank god for the hip hop lesson we have been attending faithfully has come to place.. we were like dancing to our routine when its like that by maire carey played.. gosh its too hot and sweaty and i think we were actually esorted out by the bouncer.. coz we were so huge on the floor..

ps: rocking to my moves*

2005-02-27T08:11:00.000-08:00

spanish eye*
here we are in the arms of another.. and we are still searching of each other..i dunno how much longer can my heart take the emptyness that i am punished with.. how i wish i did not have u in the first place..
u took me and made me feel safe and love.. i went away coz its my destiny's calling.. we promise to be there for each other no matter wat happens.. and this is how i feel.i reached out time after time..and all i get in return is the sunlight shone on my face.. illuminating the space in my secret room..does the tot lonliness ever cross ur mind.. have u eve felt that u have to start life all over again.. have u ever felt pierced by the unfamiliarity ard u.. for all of that yes.. been there done that

i dunno how much clearlier can i spell out the things that i have been going through..its been a
pleasure for me to be here and having the best time of my teen life.. but nth beats the home sick and anticipating the days i can go back and relive my dreams..

i am being a demanding gf here.. and i know i haven been there as much as u wanted to.. i haven been the most understanding peron on this planet.. but all i want is a pillar that i can depend on

ps i hate my dependency

2005-02-24T02:30:00.000-08:00

my brain is fried*

alrite i am back to blog.. after all the nonsense and muggings that i am so caught up with.. sigh* i skipped sch today to stay at home for my own revision..anyway its like onli 1 lesson so yea i doesn't matter seriously time is running so out for me.. coz my mocks are like next week.. guess wat i have economics and sociology at the same.. wtf! bright side of it.. there's no lessons during the mocks.. so i think i have enff time to get my ass home and start my revision.. insane!

mocks is nth when i got my a level offical time table.. i am having sociology full paper on the 25th may.. and my nightmare.. 26th psychology full paper on the next day.. my brain is fused! this isn't the worst news of the year.. on the 10th.. of june.. philosophy and economics papers at the same day likewise full paper..my onli concern is that time is which.. i am so afriad they will happen on the same time. and soon the sch is going to imprison me up and make sure i dun cheat etc and do one of the paper later.. wat kinda of time table is this! so much of being efficent in UK.. expected...

okok the gd news.. is i am coming back home early then i expected.. so i am going to see thru this storm i will be back to party all night long..soon all these will be worth while.. most likely i am on the SQ flight back home on the 14 of june.. anyway i will confrim with u guys abt the time and date when i am coming back so ppl mark that special day in ur diaries!

ps : trying my best to get thru macroeconomics

2005-02-14T07:31:00.000-08:00

all i wan to do is dance*

its in my blood.. its in my soul.. its in my mind.. its in my feet.. its all ard me.. i jux can't hold the fact that every morning all i wan to do is to dance..

i have the weirdest obession in the world.. i am obess with the tiny lil things.. i am obess with the biggest dreams.. i am so complicated.. but that makes the girl in me.. most of the times ppl mistaken me literally.. and when they read the things i wrote for my own sake and its all abt philosophy.. they do not get the whole idea.. its that difficult to see the truth ??? or are we so used to the days that answers have to be the way it is..

perhaps this may not make any sense to u.. but to someone like me..i dunno how much clearly can i put across it to u... i dislike the days when i am living for others.. when i am breathing the air for myself.. i am trying.. trying to be the reality of my dream.. there's gotta to be more to life.. and i am still searching the answers to all my questions..

deep down i need someone.. but i am puting all these away.. coz i know its the path to dependency .. and i can't afford to take a unknown risk.. perhaps i am too confine to my phobias.. but this is the truth

ps : lock in a small room of my own

2005-02-12T06:53:00.000-08:00

close to paradise*

phew.. half term is finally here and that it will makes the bloody mock papers even earlier.. dun want that to happen.. bright side of it.. time will definitely pass fast.. God bless all the poor souls..

valentine day is jux ard the conern.. well i am not celebrating.. infact i will be so caught up with work.. seeing all these couples streaming into the resturant.. and the smitterings.. on their faces.. i bet it will be a provoking my guts sight.. watever..

the steamboat party last night was a blast.. so much fun we had.. but still it did not replace my missing and anticipation wanting to go home.. i wan and i am trying to put all these missing behind.. but i can't coz home is where the heart is.. sometimes i ask myself.. wats to the point to be looking so forward to get home.. and that u clearly know that u will spending the majority time here.. sign* deinal i am clearly at.. but i admit that its going to take more than some toking..
chinese new year here.. is nth to compare those we have back home.. i miss the food.. i miss the ppl.. i miss the festive ambience and not to mention i will be at loss this year with the red packets missing me.. :(

ps: i wan to call ppl now and tok!

2005-02-12T02:32:00.000-08:00

the tat

2005-02-03T02:36:00.000-08:00

i'll be the one*

its been a long time coming.. and thanks for all the time that have passed me by.. and all those ponderings that i have been reflecting these days.. i am gald that i have come to a conclusion that this is the life of my own.. and i am the one who is in control of it no matter what is takes to be the one in my life..

i am trying and will be forever.. there's alot of things i do not know how to express the deepest soul and thought that are fleshing across my mind.. there's plenty of places and things i want to explore and experience... for all i know.. i want to be the only one that fits into my context.. it may sound confusing and complicated for the start.. by all will come clear as time will prove me..

i am vague to some and clear like a bottle to u.. but there's more than this girl and her actions.. i am aware of my consqences.. but i need to make mistakes to learn. and that's my way of life..perhaps.. i'm honest to myself.. but the truth is i lied.. and i am imperfect.. which perhaps i demand perfection from the surroundings.. this is a lie that i have laydown..

just let me be*

2005-01-31T13:02:00.000-08:00

i wld like to thank everione for posting all these love and care for me.. thanks a million* i am doing alrite (:

2005-01-31T11:58:00.000-08:00

personalised me to u *

2005-01-29T05:42:00.000-08:00

a lifetime decision*

i did it and i dun regret it.. coz its my destiny.. i put away the social stigma.. i put away my fear.. i put away my consequnces.. i did everithing i could to achieve my goals..

2005-01-25T04:39:00.000-08:00

restless*

perhaps i have over worked myself up..and perhaps.. things have changed.. i am so not in the mood for everithing..perhaps.. i am pmsing.. or its jux a sign of post depression after some bdae bash.. i can feel my head will explode any time.. i wan to be the girl i used to be.. i can't even type properly..

i am shopping complusively.. i hate it but i can't help it seems that i need something to stop my illness.. and i am tired of ur lies and excuses.. watever i wish for is all crap and to u .. i dunno if u ever took me serious.. i hate the pain and emptyness i am going thru now.. watever u said is crap and from today onwards i need to learn to drop u and everithing that is related to u..

there's nth more i wan to say and that i wan to forget u forever.. now and ever.. ppl says u love me more than i do.. but that is wat ppl see.. and not how i feel.. i hate having some kinda dependency on u ..here i am in UK and there u are in spore. i guess it will nv work out like the way u wan.. y not lets get a life and not hang on for the sake of hanging on...

i know i am a born diamond spoon.. and i know i have it all to lead the life i desire.. i know i am veri superfical to u on the outside.. but deep down i have a soul.. i'm more than jux a pretty face.. perhaps u are jux not the person i wan to spend the rest of my life with.. so y waste time.. and i am too tired of everithing

2005-01-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

happy birthday*

23rd jan marks the day i turn 18.. and its one of the biggest occasion in my life.. and i am thankful that i have the opportunity to spend it in cambridge with a bunch of great friends.. with all their thoughts and love.. its utterly loving and moving for me.. to withness such small lil things can change a person life and thinking

i spend my birthday bash at one of the finest bar & kitchen.. and not to mention all the ppl in the party we had so much fun its always nice to have renee cracking the shit out of us.. esp when we were toking abt our dream wedding.. this girl wanna to have it in south africa with all the ritals cermony and the " hoo ga sha ga" chanting.. like always she brought so much joy and laughters into my life.. also ppl like konomi.. with her slow reactions.. and irene's nonchanlenty.. nv fails to melt my heart.. despite she can appear to be realli cool and quite she still have the heart of gold.. lele and lilian.. ahha.. so cute.. and michelle.. she is always moving the grooves with me and singing along in public and i truly admire Yuxiao's courage for going up to the guys and say they are cute.. way to go girl..

i had so much fun and also they made this day so special for me.. with the ultra large brithday card they have from me.. and that comes with a huge show globe of tinker bell and peter pan.. haha.. no doubt i realli like tinker bell.. looking at the collection now.. i can't imagine i have bought so much things that is related to tinker bell..
perhaps its the fact that her sturborness and witty caught my attention.. and i can relate to afterall i do see myself in her.. haha..

its been the best day of the month and perhaps the best brithday i ever have.. and i thank everione of them for sharing all their time and love with me :)

ps : i love u all*

2005-01-21T07:40:00.000-08:00

messy*

dun exactly know wat to write.. neither am i in the mood to write abt something.. or is there anything to write.. its juz another day.. that i am stuck with.. can't be bother to think of anything to be written.. so jux let it be..

2005-01-19T16:01:00.000-08:00

my philosophy*

" the existance of life is the ablity to reflect on the design of the universe which is an evidence that universe is designed.." -vivien

i was reflecting abt the things that have had happened in life.. as my birthday is appoarching that marks the day i offically become 18.. i wasn't filled with the pleasures that will be open to me.. or rather.. i am thinking that its more like milestone or first step into adulthood.. the responsiblities.. and how much have i grown over these days..

my conclusion is that the ablity to reflect on subjects.. is the sign of growth.. yes.. there's alot of things that in this world.. that is beyond the understanding of man kinds.. and for many years.. that date back to the first greek philosophers.. they were trying to provide the ideal answer for the simplest question.. how do i know that the world that i percieved with my sense data is reliable or how can i tell the difference between illusion (dreams) and reality? all these strucks me deeply..

it was then i realised that how ignorant i can be.. and perhaps i have been exposed to a complete different world from this socially constructed society.. things may or may not seem clearly or evident to me.. there are millions possiblities out there.. and its how we viewed and managed the problems or issues that comes out way.. be it at a personal level or socially..

it all boils to the point.. we should try to step out the picture and view it as a whole.. and perhaps we will be surprise wat we will discover..

my ans : i dun no and i can't verify the difference of illusion and reality.. but i know i wan to be the reality of my dreams..

2005-01-15T17:03:00.000-08:00

long time coming*

today this time last year fate matches mine and urs destiny together.. brought 2 different individuals aspect of life together.. its been a long time coming.. all these emotions.love.pain.joy.disappointments.misunderstanding
.care.laughters.adoration.smiles.tears and lastly trust.. i thank u for making me grow so much and that being part of ur life has brought me so much experiences that i never will trade it for anything in this material world

u look beyond my surface.. into my soul.. into the deepest ,most sensetive and private place of my world.. u pick me up.. accepted my flaws and virtues.. looked into my eyes and was there for me..

like any other relationships.. i thank for all the ups and downs we have been thru.. the turmoils.. the leap of faith.. the empty promises.. all are part of this essential stage..

i am highly greatful that i gave the most precious emotions and part of me to u

*coz u complete me

2005-01-10T16:00:00.000-08:00

senseless*

today is the first day of sch.. its always nice to be back in sch and see all the familiar faces again.. which nevertheless brings warmth into my soul.. all the greetings.smiles..laughters.. and exchanging of presents.. etc..

well as much i wanna to enjoy the time that i am blessed with.. i think time is a crucial factor.. time is running out! for heaven sake.. i am onli left with 14 weeks of lesson time before i am face to face with the a level papers.. and that i need to get it cracking down before i see myself staring at the edge of devastation...

ps: time is flying

2005-01-08T03:45:00.000-08:00

unwritten*

for all i thought things are going well and smooth, for all i prayed that its a new start and a new beginning.. for a sec all these come crumbling down on my knees...

i am not sure wat exactly happened and why sometimes we are still acting childish and being immature abt the way we handle things and under estimating how the power of speech can be devasting or healing.. perhaps its our faith have been shaken by some unwanted nonsense and caused this situation.. the faith of love ,the bond of a friendship, the leap of truth that lies between the lies..

i am no one to judge anyone but i know i am someone that have withness one of the biggest disappointment in my life..

there's always suprises in this journey of life.. and that i am beginning to accept the fact that perhaps the statement "there's only one person in life i can truly depend on, that's myself" does speak for itself.. despite wat's going on now i am still holding hopes high up that all these will soon be a history and that friendship will advance a step further

to a friend
u know who realli love and care for u.. no matter how far i am apart from u there's nth in this world will stop me loving u and be there for u.. i know its going to be a tough time esp with all the misundterstandings that are coming inbetween u ppl.. but i know the sun will contine to shine and there will be still butterflies and rainbow after the storm.. be stronge.. listen to ur inner voice.. follow ur heart not others voice and most importantly nv learn to judge coz we all are imperfect.. i will pray that day will come a day that i am sitting with all my friends including u withnessing a mircale of God's wonder together.. wat u are facing rigth now is jux temporaily and that i am confident we all will be able to sit and share laughters together under the sun..

2005-01-03T10:59:00.000-08:00

we all are changing constantly*

work are yet to be done..promise myself that i will get it going..ppl its philosophy it takes time to gear into the tune to get it to the full swing.. haha.. rubbish and more rubbish.. alrite was like watching anna and the king on BBC1 and yea i confess i haven actually watch it before.. but it was like one of the most amazing epic i have preview.. its like i haven seen bangkok so beautiful before..no no i now recalled that its was flimed in malaysia at Phang kor island.. haha..the malayan history still are there..

right was like browsing my friendster list and guess wat.. who are these ppl.. i mean there are like tons of unknown faces on my list.. who are u guys.. seriously i need some spring cleaning on the list.. its like so annoying to see ppl who clearly doesn't belong in ur life and are in the so called friends list.. wat a wack.. and yea i made an astonishing discovery.. all the ppl i know or have any association with are like getting the perk up.. its amazing how each of them all change for the better be it physically or mentally its great to see that so ppl and friends keep it going..

i am so worried that jas and a few of u guys haven got my presents.. ooooooh.. that's like the worst new for the start of the year.. cross fingers that u guys will get the presents.. soon i mean like tomorrow !!!!

there's this part of me that i wanna all my friends to know.. despite we have taking the different track of lives.. and that we are so busy with our schedule.. its the care and tots that stays in the heart that counts so no matter how much we are drifted apart or haven been in touch i am so confident to say that its all in the heart somewhere we are holding on dearly forever

p.s : there's more than wat the eyes meet

2005-01-02T13:31:00.000-08:00

things yet undone*

ehh.. today is like another rotting day.. i am so suppose to get my psychology stuff done and wat am i doing now.. sipping on some honey vanilla cammoile tea and blogging..way to go vien.. yea and tml is like this bank holiday.. screw it i have planned so much things to do when the entire uk going on hibernation... ppl u guys have enff holidays time to get it cracking peeps

lolx.. i managed to find a solution to get my hair fix...more like styling it the right way.. haha and yea thanks for some of the local that inspire this hairdo.. alli need now is some highlights and layering i am off to start this year off.. lolx.. who am i kiddin ?

look i was like suppose to get my upper cutiledge pierce.. so to complete my 7 piercing on my body.. damn that sound millions..and i am so holey~ as my sis commented.. haha. who cares its not loads if u think there's onli 3 on each ear and a naval piercing.. hahah.. watever.. still tml i can't get it done.. i have to wait till like on tues.. thank god for that enff of holidays i hope sch will start soon.. or i am jux complaining the shit here when all ppl in spore have already start sch haha.. bad vivien..

see all my food stock are running out.. and shops are close.. i am like on a detox or sort of detox for like ard 5 days... admit i loss some fabs on the side of my waist.. my legs look slimmer but still i am cruaving for good food like hmmm salmon i am so going to cook salmon bake rice of cuz its brown rice gd for health and ppl on diets.. see gd tips girls.. hit it :D

tell me abt the new year resoultion.. or things that i will definitely break the rules abt.. the things i will do is to hit the gym first thing first.. i haven visited the gym like over a month.. i miss the scenes of gays~ and the hip hop class.. vien u better get ur butt moving now..

issnit it funny i still dun feel like its 2005*

2004-12-31T17:15:00.000-08:00

2005 here i come*

my pre new year eve was spending cruching on my couch.. watching the ultimate farewell of friends and how it made an impact in my life.. i swear i grew up watching that phenomena tv show its amazing to realise my addiction on my morning dosage of friends.. and then followed on by the farewell of sex and the city the other part of me.. so single women lifestyle..so new york so american girl fantasy.. but all in all i guess its jux part of the dreams that perhaps onli exist in the tv world

yes ppl its the year 2005 another year that is going to unfold the thrills.pain.lessons.happiness.hopes.excitiment.disappointment and all in all love*

for this year my resolution is to be who i really am and game for the inner desire... there's alot that this world will bring us to and its sometimes up to us to take this step and explore this amazing place.. i want to be the reality of my dream.. i want to fulfill things that i have said.. i want to be the girl that i know will shine within and to enjoy this process of growing up

p.s : year 2005 this is it*

2004-12-30T11:43:00.000-08:00

dedication to ppl in life*

finally i can blog.. for the longest time.. its like my dumb computer cum the screw up internet connection is not displaying the page for me to blog.. watever it is i have already rebot the entire com to beat the fustration...

oooh its like new year is going to kick in any time now folks and that means i have i so much to do and anticipating the new events of the year ahead of us !!!

firstly i want to wish u guys a great and happy new year 2005 and may all ur wishes and dreams come true ! also i wan to express how much for this year that have been an exciting and head start for me.. its like a new life new friends.. new me.. new craps etc haha.. but it makes me truly grow from inside that i have learnt to treasure the things ard me esp making me realised that i am so blessed with all the true and geniune ppl such as the tribe and ppl i have met in my jouney of life back in the secondary sch days which are the most precious days of my life thank u so much for being part of me... also i want to thank God for everithing without him i will not be as satified and grown up as i am today.. for all the things i wished for this is like a dream come true being away and learning the real art of independency and my milestone to adulthood

its been an eventful year for me and i hope and know that the forthcoming year ahead of me will unfold more thrills and lessons to be learnt.. for everihting i know watever happens i have ppl always watching out for me and i am veri contented with life that i am so fortunate to meet u all

to the ppl here*
thank u so much without u guys i think i will be so lost and depressed thank u konomi, all thanks to that 1 sec of weak smile glances that we exhanged across the psychology class.. its going to be a blastful year for us though i know it will so damn short as june comes we will be parting to our journey again i promise to spend all the quality time b4 we depart to our destiny callings..

to cece: the trip in london taught me alot abt the uni life that i am abt to embark and that i know how influencial the enviroment can be and no matter how superfical we can get on the surface i know deep down no one can steal or blurred the true soul i met in those innocent days

renee: u are the joy and my private comidian.. there's alot that ppl may mistaken u for someone with no troubles and take u lightly but i overlooked the fact that ur happiness have been the greatest strength that anyone on earth is seacrhing for... be who u are~

irene and angel: the insepartable pair thank for all the tactful love and care that u guys shower on me and be there for me when i was down and to take all anger when i am so screw up thank u for everithing :D

the gems of my life*

cindy : u are like the star of my sky which was once lost in the dark clouds and now shine as the wind came by and blew the hurdles between us away.. thank u for being my friend and thank u for being strong for urself and me its always a blessing that for that short one week we have invested into this friendship has definitely paid off.. there's so much i want to tell u and share with u but i guess a simple i love u shall do it all

jac : aways in my eyes u stand as tall and informiable as the empire state and i know deep down u have gone thru so much that all the briues and pain made u a stronger person there's always going to be more problems and saddness we will go thru in this journey but i know it feels so much better to have someone or a group of true souls to go through this with u and i know the tribe and me will be the sailors of ur almighty ship to sail u thru this stormy sea

char : this is such a rollercoaster for the both of us and i am gald that all things have come clean and that for the every bit of the past i will keep them in my treasure box that its u who showed me the world and taught me to love and care for someone apart one self.. i am so gald that we are able to still bitch abt this world and yet be a fully grown up individual that we are meant to fulfilled all in all we both know deep down true love need not to be said or written (:

sammie : thank u so much for expressing how u felt the same way as i did.. u are my long lost toy that has been found... and i am gald that everihting is heading the way we desire and that this friendship now is securely tresure and love by the both of us.. and i hope that year 2005 u will find wat u are seeking for and be truly happy

sawaaah: the one and onli pillar of my life u have always been the claming stone of my soul.. the one that i will always will nv forget and turn to when i needed someone badly and someone that who knoes me inside.. i thank god for blessing me someone so cool and loving like u and all these i hope that everithing will come undone in the year 2005

aud : will be there whenever u needed will pray for u everi night and i sincerely hope that the true love will come finding its way to u

serene : all ur words does the magic of healing a broken soul and uplifting everione i;m looking forword to our friendship moving on the next stage

p.s i jux can't wait to get back home now and give u guys a hug~

2004-12-25T08:43:00.000-08:00

merry chritsmas to all*

realli hang over in london met many ppl was realli nice.. dramatic scens of BBCs hunks throwing punches of each other.... pissing drunk... sweet pretty girls. having nice long chats.... nice guys and veri gentleman... that's my christmas eve....

all in all i still misses home like mad! can't wait to get back... yea i mean all the fun here.. and alcohol.. nice music.. nice ppl.. nice flat.. is this wat i realli wan for my christmas... or its jux that i am not used to the brits born chinese lifestyle.. and for God's sake i am not a bbc.. and so to who ever... who were like viv... i tot u were a bbc ? yea right give me a break,.. that's an insult ok! i rather be some ABC then ever link with BBC....

i wan to go home... i miss and love u all like mad!

2004-12-21T13:00:00.000-08:00

no ones love u as much as i do*

was like chatting with cindy like 2 hrs.. haha. yay! lolx.. yup i missed her like tons.. and thank god that she is a noctunal.. but girlieee.. still not gd.. better slp more and rest early in the future alrite.. also dun need to thank me.. abt the posting of stuff.. i mean to me u guys are my gems.. so u guys deserved my shower of gifts and love :D

for the longest time i was like posting so many things back to spore.. that the cashier have to help me to hold the stuff haha. how sweet of her.. and yea.. ppl u guys are going to get the presents soon.. and pls dun ask me to waste money ok.. everi penny spent on u guys are all well spent

well its seems that this holiday i am rotting off... again.. have plenty to do for the holiday like my homework.. dun worry i think i will do them perhaps next week when i am at cece's place.. going to stay like a week in london for xmas with her.. companying her for this freezing xmas..

*jac i hope everithing will work out right.. i know it takes time to heal the deep cut.. and there's ppl like us who cares and love u.. and watever u do we will be there for u.. u are so much stronger than u think u are.. dun put that flame away and to the ppl ard when u needed a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on..

*Sammie... i tried calling u but i guess u were slping.. hoping to catch up with u.. dun worry i will call u soon before the xmas.. and also be happy its not easy to put it down i know that.. but i have faith in u that time will heal all the wounds and bring u somewhere that u will wan to go so dun worry so much alrite :D

*cindy thanks for the time and all the things that u have shared with me.. u are the reward of my harvest.. i am happy that things are finally working out with u.. share ur power of love and strength with the ppl ard u :D

2004-12-19T14:39:00.000-08:00

all i truly want is for life to treat me kinder*

for awhile i tot i found the feeling of sugar rush from u.. for a min i tot u might be the one for me at this moment.. for a sec i tot this might all work out.. for a day i tot this might be a dream come true..

but all these come falling down coz deep down reality is harsh.. and i am a fool for a moment to think that this is true.. coz its jux another fairy tale that i was told and made to believe.. is beauty the vital of life.. are we chained down by the trap and lies of beauty.. is that the key of true love.. or its another method of using it to glorify ur days.. i know there's no easy to ans to all my doubts but.. all i wan to say i am jux a fool for a min to fall into the trap of urs..

thank u for the lesson that i was woken up by the calling of myself and reality.. for long enff there's onli one person i learnt to depend on.. thats myself.. dun blow me with the fantasy of urs story or how love is that wonderful.. lets face it even marriage doesn't last and how fragile life can be.. there's no forever in this world.. and don't u use these on me.. coz its an insult on a girl who haven seen enff of truth..

this is an illusion of truth or perhaps i am too early to judge*

___________****_____________
im at lost too*

( dedication to sammie.char.cindy & jas )

for the veri first time my heart sunk as i read all u guys blog..this is worst then losing a bad relationship.. or a argument with my mom.. it seems that u all are going thru one of the hardest time in life.. and that i can't be there for u all.. its unimaginable how my feelings are now.. to see one by one my closest friends to be the salve of disillusion.depression.doubts.and devastation.. i was veri near to tears when i read sammie's blog.. after reading all of u guys one.. there's this much of encouragement i am left with.. all i wan is to see that u all to smile for me.. be the one i know that is happy and full of life.. i know we all go thru these phrase of life.. but i also know that we recover from it and become a stronger spirit.. there's this much i can help and i dun even know i can be any gd use in this case.. as i am drained from this metropolitian of life.. is this the same trick that life is playing on us to get us.. or i'm jux too weak even though i tried to be strong.. for i know.. we will get thru this together and bring the rainbow out of the dark sky
u all are my pillar of strength and help me out on this too

also to cece.. i know its like a transition of life u are experiencing now currently.. i am afraid to say that perhaps its life.. uni life is nv easy moreover having it in a bustling place like London the more u will feel empty and all the lonely nights u went thru in the small room.. i can understand that.. dun u get so worry abt it.. its some thing that we are needs and will go thru one day.. and the end of the day u will be stronger trust me.. i'm onli a fone call away.. a 45 min train away.. a msn msg away and a click on the button of email.. will be there for u no matter wat.. dun let all these.. superficial comments bring u down u know who are the one who truly treasure as a friend forever

*hope that all my love ones is alrite

2004-12-16T04:50:00.000-08:00

this is the gift of love*

oooh.. i can't believe it i think this year christmas is going to be the one and onli best ever in my life...its like i was spending the whole day shopping with my friends of cuz i meant chrsitmas shopping and hahah ppl i bought so mcuh gifts for u all now the prob is that i dunno when i am going to wrap them or send it over!!!

to ppl like cindy.sammie.jac.sarah.t.mel.char. and aud.. i've gotten u guys stuff and i hope that the stuff u going to recieve will be something u guys will love it forever!

lolx... its like i did xmas shopping for both the places the ppl here and back home.. gosh but i feel all the time and money are well spent!

can't wait for xmas to come coz i'm going to bunk with my mates in london finally a break from the world!

2004-12-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

"Cannonball"
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer EACH DAY
Still I can't SAY what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to di
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer TO ME
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy'
Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't WANNA scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna loseI
t's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

2004-12-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

im going to love u till my dying days*

for all the things that i have believed in.. i think this year has been the best time of my life.. thank u for everithing.. for everi single monment i have spent in my college days.. this is the ultimate the best!

bought like a bouquet of flowers for irene yesterday.. and she's like so happy haha i meant seriously elated she told me that's the first time she recieved flowers from someone and i am gald that i am the first person to do that :D also got Konomi a pink opal necklace .. yeahhh.. i truly love this festive season.. its like the reaction andhappiness that one return to me.. its jux priceless.. i realli can't wait for u ppl in spore to get my presents.. :D and all the reactions send me pics when u recieved my presents hahah :D

its like i have so many true friends here.. making my days getting by faster and more fufilling..
:D not to mention that i have tons back home.. :D with all these ppl ard wat can i ask for more.. ~

2004-12-09T06:16:00.000-08:00

too sexy and hot for u*

ooooh.. the weekend is jux ard the corner.. and guess wat i haven finish my christmas shopping.. damn.. was like wondering in disnet shop for like the entire lunch time and onli picked some stuff for the ppl in my tutorials.. watever! lolx.. ppl i am heading to london this sunday to get my hair done.. not to mention the french manicure.. oooh posh* i love it

dumb.. jux being a complete bitch here.. like i am always... haha.. anyway was so bored that i am dropping testimonials in friendster.. guess wat.. fucking hell all of u guys looks perfect!!!! serious.. did all of yea went for some makeover.. coz u guys look too hot for me :D that's gd all my friends are like becoming prettier as days go...

well i am definately going to clubbing tonite with all the papers now over.. heading to Fez ckub for the rnb nite!!!.. going to show off my hip hop moves that i have masters in the hip hop class .. soo ppl move space for the dancing queen.. then Sunday to london..

anyway today's lerler's birthday all the best to her :D

2004-12-07T02:45:00.000-08:00

deeply in thoughts*

was realli excitied when stefi from germany dropped me a message.. gosh i missed her like hell lotx.. all the time that we have spent together back in the summer days.. she brighten all the grey clouds of mine.. :D and yea i'm expecting a call from her later aft the lessons.. can't wait to hear her voice now!

well i guess xmas is already here.. its like i am having this butterfly feeling as the holiday is approaching.. amazingly all this year is going to float by now.. time flies vien! and not to mention i'm looking forward for the new year 2005 in UK totally new life here now.. gosh this is like going to be something in life i am gald that i am not missing out!

perhaps this year resoultion is grow and look beyond myself.. hmmm.. dunno wat's going to be installed for me.. but i know that time realli goes by and that i will definately miss the ppl here.. when they graduate for their uni and moving on with their lives.. haiz.. to be honest i am going to treasure everi min i have with all the ppl here now and there.. its like konomi is going to leave soon after her A2 leaving for japan forever.. gosh i can't bear her to leave me.. its like still yesterday we met in the psychology class.. exchanging glances across the table revealing a shy smile.. haha.. and to yesterday she was slacking in my room singing BSB karaoke together.. i know there's so much to come.. for us and others.. as we spend our aspiration together.. how i wish i can freeze time for a moment ...

*stefie's msg and misses made me realised that friendship do last no matter how far we are apart

2004-12-03T07:15:00.000-08:00

inner vision*

there's so much i think i can be.. there's this little i know u might see.. but all in all there's many ppl out there that have seen me grow and mature.. i'm still searching.. seaching endlessly for my inner vision my inner soul..

i wan to be the dream of my reality.. i wan to seize every happiness that i am bless with.. i wan to smile my way off things.. i wan to share my story with u.. and i am gald that every chapater of my life does involed u.. i am sad that i can spend much time to nature this friendship.. i am grateful that u are part of this huge puzzle..

i dunno wat's install for me in life.. but i know i will make every breathe that i take it all worthwhile.. i do believe in destiny but i am a strong believer that u are in control of urself.. make ur own decision this is u... no one can replace the inner passion that u have

there's many things in life i wan to achieve and i know i can't have it all even if i have put my best foot forword.. but when i look back at time.. i know deep down that i have tried at least.. dun go with the flow.. society is jux wat ppl reflect.. be in control and know wat's ur happiness

2004-12-03T07:06:00.000-08:00

frozen kiss*

alrite its almost the end of the week.. and thank God.. its all over now.. esp when this week was a terrible week..nonetheless.. things did somehow turn out the way it shu be.. well was kinda of doing my xmas shopping.. and ppl hope that u will love the presents that i am sending to yea.. :D

pout* today was like -4 degree.. and i almost drop dead while i was walking to sch.. thank God i am still alive.. well winter is definately here.. and all my friends will be like going back to their countries.. oh god damn it.. i wanna to go home too.. can't imagine spending this grey christmas alone..

well this is like going to be my pre- resolution of the year..
- work harder for the year 2005 [ a levels papers ]
-stay happy and spend less money

that will be the focus of year 2005

2004-12-02T08:05:00.000-08:00

sunshine after the rain*

that's how i felt after so much grief that i was put thru.. and to be honest i think i am kinda of gald that wat i have gone thru.. afterall by the end of the day.. i will be stronger and better :D

i'm lucky that i have ppl always looking out for me.. like my friends :P i love u guys all no matter those in spore or the ones here.. i am so gald that that friendships do and will last forever.. well things have seems to turn the other way round.. and that some friendships are found and saved.. mugging sessions appears to be lighter for me to handle.. the laughters and jokes i share with the girls in the common room aka sch cafe... and desire to get a tatoo done.. and not mention the appoarching festive season.. Christmas..

perhaps the one festive season that the whole world comes together and celebrate the love and thanks giving.. no matter where u are its going to be a day of happiness.peace and love.. and i am veri happy that i am able to share all these love that i had for the year 2004.. and awaiting for the exciting moments unfolding in year 2005..

i would like to take this opportunity to thanks tons for ppl.. first of all the love and blessing that all my friends back home have gave me.. despite the miles inbetween us.. we are still strong and loving :D also to some unexpected friendships i have saved and made..

not to mention the new ones that i have made.. also to my parents for giving this chance to grow for the better and chance to see the world.. allowing me to do watever i wan.. thanks for showing me the world.. and now i know wat's inside the real me..

lastly to God.. without u nth will be possible..

2004-11-30T09:29:00.000-08:00

screw up*

sigh.. i am anticipating a mirgrain now.. fuck up.. total screw up serious..i am saturated now... the load of all my tests and all those muggin are gd enff to drown me.. and now with all these addtional stress wat's more to look for in life..

see.. last nite after a long hard day in sch.. i went off to starbucks as usual with Konomi.. to study.. as usual everithing went alright despite it was like freezing like hell outside.. got home and chatted our hearts out on the way back.. that's when life is beginning to screw up.. my supervior who is undoubtly nice asked for a chat abt the welfare at home.. she said the 2 japanese girls living under my room complained that i was too loud and noisey and that my friends are like making too much noise which they can't get to slp.. okok for that point i apologise for it.. i know i am at fault.. then wat makes me boiled is that they mention that the toliet rolls are running out coz my friends are staying over too often.. wat rubbish is that.. i mean i bought a tons of it outside the room and that its all out there... wat's up with them.. i mean wat kinda of dumb reason shu i retailate abt.. God knows wat ..

nvm who cares abt these tiny whiny stuff.. i have tons of work to do.. and not to mention to get all the information of psychology and sociology jam into my head.. sleepless night.. mirage.. depressed.. deprivation.. disillusioned..

nvm nvm things will go fine.. then we have this fucked up Lesley.. guess wat she has been getting my on bloody nerves for some time.. i realli can't stand it anymore i need an outlet away from her..is that i was like rushing to complete the essay and thanks to my friends they rang my mobile.. friends ringing tone..lols.. funni and yea that fuck up slut say i have to confiscate the phone and etc.. come on it wasn't intentional

p.s : on the verge of breakdown

2004-11-24T06:16:00.000-08:00

all i wan for christmas is u*

alrite this is so damn typical of me.. was like surfing all my peeps blog and all of them are stating their wish list which i am genuinely happy coz i know wat to send back now.. so ppl if u are reading this and have a blog u know wat to do to get presents from the great sugar*bitch

shopping list :
get my hair highlight and style in london
dior compact lip gloss
gucci lock wallet
pink mini ipod
adidas retro sneakers
tiffany and co ring
D&G black drop shoulder top
2 miss sixty jeans
cowboy boots
french manicure
reshape my eyebrown
butterfly tatoo

conclusion
i'm born diamond spoon which i use my money to get wat i want (:

2004-11-23T03:26:00.000-08:00

deprivation*

annoucing : i'm deprive from cute guys companionship!... errrh... think i am going bonkers... enff enff.. need to get back to sane.. loads of work to do viv! wake up no more time for all these nonsense..

where are all the cute and no string attached guys gone too.. someone needs help here desperately... damn making myself sound so damn pathetic.... wat's wrong with me.. think the stress is up here.. that's y vien is going insane.. HA HA HA... synical... me... lalala

oooh... well lets tok abt the nice things coming up.. hmmm christmas is here.. i guess i will be heading to london for all my shoppings.. dun worry ppl i will make sure the presents will reach ur door steps :Dcoz i love u guys so much that christmas is definate a festival that i will not forget u guys..

vivien is running out of inspiration.. coz she hates to express now.. no idea wat have come over her.. guess its jux the winter and the depressing temperture.. procrascinating again... eeerh... dunno wats up with me these days..

ps: i dun have ans to everithing

2004-11-19T01:46:00.000-08:00

snowing*

ooooooh.. was snowing so heavily last nite.. haha.. was at borders studying in starbucks with Irene and Konomi.. and we were like silping on the hot chia tea latte.. when we started to notice the tiny winy* flacks were falling from the sky.. lolx..

the next thing u know its pouring snow.. haha.. for the 1st time in my life i have withnessed snowing.. but it wasn't the best experience i ever have that i would have imagined.. it like i have to battle thru the freezing cold and wet road back home.. i almost seriously almost drop dead.. serious... my fingers were like frozen when i got back home thry almost turn purple.. haiz..i need to get some gd gloves now... erhhh... conclusion: fucking hell cold

well its like friday again.. and the mock papers are coming.. can't believe i haven done much studies... and this term is like going to end with this grey freezing christmas... ermx... there's like tons of work to do and the thing is that i can't seems to concentrate at home like i used too.. so i think more starbucks studying sessions.. lolx.. sigh*not to mention i am still like revising my psychology now.. attachments.. who give a damn abt infants and whether they are attached to their moms when growing up like duh... ! oh i know who will all the ppl taking psychology a levels... so its me.. going insane now...

p.s: bring me the sun now pls

2004-11-17T06:20:00.000-08:00

skunk funk*

oooh went to hip hop lesson last nite and came home rushing my econs essay.. damn its so fucking hell lots of things to do.. was like figuring out the suppy and demand curve to shift here or there... and the prob abt me is that i think too much.. finally when i figured out the crappy ans..with my tiny winy brain.. is was like so fucking hell simple.. and yea chey...

lolx.. anyway today is like my fav day of the week coz i onli have one pathetic econs lesson for the day. haha.. but then i need to start muggin for all my tests.. and not to mention the sickening mock papers.. eeerrr.. i wan christmas to come now.. begone with the work...

well i dropped by at char's blog.. and finally that babe has gave her special touch to relive her blog.. hhaha.. lolx. and the pics were like so cute and perfect.. hahah and i have to mention it occurs to me that she was like abusing her darling hamsters by holding them in her grip .. haha.. kiddin la..i know u love them all :D

feeel like i am detached with the world of my friends back home.. i am so sorry peeps.. this is not the way i wanna to turn out to be.. haiz.. jux a gulity feeling that i am always missing out all these fun and laughters.. damn.. but will always miss u guys no matter where i am.. esp when look at the pictures we taken in the sec sch days on my wall nv failed to bring me back to the polka dots days... lolx.. nvtheless.. i will still love u all till the end of days!

2004-11-12T04:04:00.000-08:00

poout*

winking*.. its another week.. seriously i can't believe how time flies.. lolx.. but i am gald that days that passed by are all fufilled and happy.. though i am not with any mr right now.. neither im having the intention to get any life still get better how ironic yup ?

anyway i am kinda of down with some annoying sore throat.. ever since i am in england i tends to fall ill easily this is bad.. esp sore throat.. wats up with the weather.. shan't make any comment on it..

weee~ christmas is like coming soon and i can't believe that i am going to spend a GREY christmas in england.. haiz.. i wish i will be back but i know living in denial is pathetic. watever it is.. i am going for more retail therpy.. haha. and get my hair high-light etc.. oooh yea more naval piercing stud shopping..

ooh yea toking to all my friends abt the hip hop class on tues.. oooh.. so exciting we are going to dance again.. i can't wait to get it all down now..

sore throat!!!!!!

2004-11-10T05:53:00.000-08:00

dedication to jas'rk*

was reading jas blog... awww... i missed her bdae again.. so sorry abt that mate..damn it if i was back for ur bdae! lolx.. and yea the most piercing feeling is that when i saw all the tribe gathering.. all the familiar faces and the unfogettable smiles and lameness.. wat's more i acn ask for its so nice to see u guys happy and cheerful

its realli nice to see that all the friends we made during the sec sch days and how we still managed to hang on to each other despite the different paths we have taken.. i hope that is will be something that i can consider everlasting.. coz nth beats the love and laughters that we all once share as a tribe..

bdae message to jas:
hey mate, u are a year wiser now.. so pls behave like one alrite.. haha.. kiddin i know u always have been but try a lil more.. esp when u are with the tribe haha.. and yea u are the tribe leader better be like one :D and most importantly be proud of who u are no matter wat the world might reflect back.. coz there's always us behind giving u the undying support ;D

ps: for God sake dun hang ard in the middle of wisma can ???

2004-11-08T03:45:00.000-08:00

insearch the happiness i desire for*

in state of saturation of emotions and stuck in a spot of this pass running cosomopolitian life.. its been some time that i have to the conclusion that singleton is the cup of tea i am seeking for ultimately..

there's jux too much to get involed in a relationship.. perhaps i am jux unwilling to compromise to the demands of relationships.. i yern for the positive outcomes of relationships.. and i desire for the freedom that this free spirit deprieve of.. im so complex..

i need to learn and grow.. desperately i need to master the skills to overcome the gap of BGR and be friends instead its jux too hard.. feel like i am jux being so immature of wat i realli wan.. amgious... unclear.. and etc.. i dun even know wat i am saying..

watever.. shan't think much abt it.. no point of dwelling on things that i know there's issn't any straight ans to it..

*off to lessons

2004-10-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

small step to my world*

finally i am able to blog and yea thanks to teh sch bloody internet security system i am here in a cafe to get my long term not blogging done... doesn't make sense

anyway i went my pierce my navel fianlly.. and its fucking hell pain.. cannot bend and do any big movements.. lolx.. haha.. but its nice finally yea always wanna to get it done and now its done haha.. nice nice

yesterday we had a party bash with my friends as its konomi's bdae haha.. and its so sweet we guys are gelling so much better esp that reneen.. super lame and funni haha.. she's from taiwan so is irene and angel the endless round of food haha.. its realli fun to get out and hang out outside part from our common room venue.. haha

the shitty fact is that this friday its repart reviewing day before all my bloody tests and all the usless comments from the teachers are sent home for my parents to review it.. think i am going to switch off my hp for the week haha.. aviod all the nagging.. but on the other hand half term is here yea it means holiday it means chilling in london it means clubbing.. it means more fun it means more dance etc...

ps : can't wait to get home now!

2004-10-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

whenever i go i'm sure u be smilling back at me*

dedication to all my friends..u guys have been the gems and stars of my life.. veri precious to me and i am gald that i have u guys forever with me no matter how far we are apart :D and thanks for being there whenever i needed

thank you for all the concern and love when i am fargile
thanks for the sweet tags that brighten up my days
thanks for the bitching times we share

thanks for all the troubles that we went through together
thanks for being a friend of mine
thanks for accepting me for who i am

thanks for picking up the bits and pieces when i am torn
thanks for sharing ur problems with me
thanks for the time we shed the tears

thanks for the ultimate crappy days
thanks for sticking thru the pain with me
thank God for everione like u for me!

ps : i love u guys all and will continue this love forever!

2004-10-01T07:32:00.000-07:00

fragements of me*

supposely that i doubt the existance of myself.. normal ppl will think its nonsence.. but its not absurd if u were to give a deeper tot of it.. all this emotions.events and personal experience can be on a unitary of a process that somewhere the brain in a vat transmit it to us...

i'm thinking too much abt philsophical things that's bad.. perhaps i am driving myself too much.. the stress level is like hitting the warning button.. dun wan to be reminded of it anymore..

heading off to work later.. and yea brought Konomi with me to apply the place i am working i do hope that she will managed to pull off the trainings.. and i was thinking when i shall stop working perhaps after the summer holiday next year.. still got a long way to go.. planning rational planning is the goal of life..

but exercuting it is another story.. complication of a teenage girl who is abt the turn 18 .. Life seems so blict... terrible.. better wash all these tots away and fit into this uneven world.. before i am fading myself away.. and perhaps that is call self exhail to isolation

ps: i wan to go home back to singapore

2004-09-30T02:30:00.000-07:00

denial*

i'm in huge denial of myself.. there's too lil time for me.. i know i have 24hrs like others do but the load of work.emotions.material persude of life and friends are all on top of me that i am abt to break.. its coming i can feel it

this is the transition period of myself.. the search of the inner self.. dun tell me wat to do and wat to expect coz this is wat u get now and the future..

i'm a slave of my own self-fuling prophecy.. enff with the boys of emotions.sick of the waiting and absence of security.tired of being the 2nd one....

i know i am becoming cold and bitter abt everithing but this will make me stronger and independent... sorry everione.. i need to focus on my indivual studies.. there's too much to do. there's no space for anyone new in my life.. i'm resistant to love.. jux hanging out with the friends here.. missing the ones back home.. getting to sch.. handling a part time job.. no space and no mood for a love life

ps : i dunno.dun care and no time to bother

2004-09-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

those were the days...*

was reading some of my friends blog... and a sudden plang of sweet reminiscing dust shower over me.. yes back to the old days of our memory lane.. the good old secondary sch days.. the days that define us.. the time we learnt abt life and the evolution that we mould ourselves..most importantly the foundation of friendship that we bulit for life is established in a small world of our own...

we are at the different junction of our path..the path that life will lead us too.. the path of our future... seeing all of the people that i know and made friends with are growing and changing for a better person.. its realli priceless to see that everione of us did change as time flew by...

different sch.new enviroment.new associations of friends.make over physical appearence.new life.new self.. all these still did not break the love and bound we had for each everyone.. its amazing how things are so different.. we still made the effort to gat together to reminisci the days we used to enjoy...

we are at different part of the world.. link together with a heart of love for one another

2004-09-21T03:35:00.000-07:00

sore throat.. warning- sore throat alert.. i think i am having some kinda of diease.. first my gum bleeds like hell whenever i brush them.. i am sucking on some lozgens.. which taste like some m&ms.. gosh i dun think it has effects on my throat.. and i am gluping down like some kinda of Evian water competitons..

nvm today has been a smooth day.. so far onli.. dun make assumption.. alright.. not to mention now my parents and bro are in town to brighten my days.. hahha..is like yesterday i realli wished that i have 48 hrs in a day was like rushing to meet my parents in some starbucks in borders.. whereby my mom was like peeling bananas feeding my Dad.. -goose bums- and my bro is like somewhere in the mist of the books.. haha.. nvm got them to sch and chatted with my teachers.. i think i am kinda of getting into some kinda of sane.. its like having ur parents to meet ur teachers is like the last thing u wan to happen in ur.. haha. i am actually invited them to sch and ask my parents to speak to the sch stuff.. afterall they are paying so much.. right i wan them to know i am doing fine.. but most importantly i wan the sch to be under pressure.. that my parents is watching closely haha!!!! i am so sadist but i jux love it when i see that panic expression on my teachers when they met my mom it was priceless!!!!!

oh it was like so sweet of my parents to come over to my place to cook up all the local delights home cook food for me haha.. and i even invitied my jap friend Konomi and Cece from china they simply love it.. not onli that my mom like made a whole lot of food for the ppl in my hse too hahha.. they love my mom cookings.. damn of cuz who weren't.. hahah

it was great day yesterday and today they are on there way to London to get the feel of the reali Britian.. -boring- thinking of going to New York the next year easter break! hahha cosmopolitian life i love it!

ps : pierceing my belly next week

2004-09-20T02:18:00.000-07:00

anarchy

gross.. okok i think i am having a sore throat now.. or its like coming.. yucks.. my whole body felt so uneven.. this is bad.. think i am going to fall sick again..

well there's like fucking hell lot things to do and that i need to do. God y can't u make 48 hrs a day! first the upteen tests are like drowning me.. fucking hell! and nvm i tot today i have 2 test economics and psychology.. then the bloddy sch jolly well went and change the time table again.. guess wat my lessons offically starts at 2pm now wat time i am in sch 9.45am ... screwed- wasting my presious time onli... nvm nvm cool cool

me need to rush to HSBC to deposit my cheque and money y?? coz i have been working till the morning for the past 3 days.. my friday.sat.and sun.. ok nvm look at the birght side of life.. at least i got gd pay yea.. nvm nvm..

my parents and bro in cambridge and i haven had anytime for them apart from a luch we had before i was rushing off to my work.. and now all the things i have planned for nest week is so much screw up by the new time table.. fuck man! i need to study 4 hrs a day for all my subjects.. the fucking hell lot of tests and part time job.. my stress level is like at the breaking pt

went to gym at 12pm with my girl pals to vent all my bloody stress out.. haha.. damn good outlet.. first burn fats.. second vent my anger third sweat the shit out !

ps: i will be stronger and will take it as it comes!

2004-09-17T03:17:00.001-07:00

pink plum sugary dust*

okok.. my blog pic is not showing.. check with it and yea i guess the server is down... gruitty~

haven been updating this blog coz i have so much bloddy tests.. to start with i had one psychology test.. and i dun think i did very well.. i mean it is not wat i expected i wanna to get 80% and yea turn out 78% still not that bad.. the second highest in class.. still not happy.. humrpf...

nvm these below are my forthcoming tests for the week
economics - monday
pshychology - monday
philosophy - read up that bloody chunk
soicology - pending

man is like onli the start of the week my sch is like on full gear liao.. or is it i am studying too much.. hmm i wan my holidays back.. oh yea i did so much shopping lately that i am broke! lolx.. serious.. nvm lucky i am working for tml and tonight.. hope that i can recoperate some back.. did i mention the fcuking weather is damn bad..now.. sigh*

nvm look at the bright side of life.. hmmm.. things i am going to do this term
- get my hair highlight!
- reshape my eye brown
- pierce my belly
- more shoppings
- top in my class for all tests
- get my bloody uni statments ready!
- more gyms

and yes my parents and bro is coming this sunday to visit me.. fuck i haven even got their accomdation done.. i am so screw and nvm.. i think my teeth gum is so bad that i brush my teeth i am losing 4oz of blood.. this is bad and i need to make an appointment with the doc..

i wanna to return home to spore! yes yes spore now ! okok i will start to countdown soon June 2005!

p.s : vainty is the beauty of a women.. and yes i am one of them

2004-09-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

as usual the longing yet anticipating class for economics is not undone today.. coz my teacher is not here again! can u believe it and the stupid sch did not inform us abt it.. gees... yea but still i think my class for econs is kinda of funky loads of different ppl and other stuff.. haha.. lookin forward to know then more

later is like sociology class. but the thing is that i think my classmate is not that friendly.. that's y la.. hiaz..i like this sub so much yet i can't get to know my classmates well.. oh wellies! who cares.. jux hope that the forthcoming days it will be better

psychology is as usual that cute and funni well the class is quite lite and i enjoy the ppl in my class.. juz that i have loads to study and complete for my homework!

all above the followings are the update of the sch!

and yea sch is as usual that rushing and dull.. coz the old and the new students are like heading for all classes seriously no time to sit down and meet new ppl.. speaking of which i kinda odf met this girl who is from malaysia name michelle hahah so far she is aweet la.. finally someone from the south east asia! oh yea i heard there's like a singaporean.. hmm wondering where is she realli wan to meet her! and u know finally i can create my own kinda of clent here hahha.. kiddin..

the new place is fine i am loving it as days passed by jux a lil far from town and etc.. but is ok !

i need to do some serious shopping from tml! okok my recent fastish is rings.. like big rings! butterflies anything to do with it i will wan to own it.. and yea.. i wan to get some nice walking shoe.. and flat pointed shoe for jeans.. of cuz not to mention more tops and bags!

did i mention i am going to get my belly pierce!

2004-09-11T07:04:00.000-07:00

oooh.. i am moving hse again.. damn it was like packing like some kinda of headless chicken.. runnign ard and taking stuff off the walls.. and ya i did not know i have so much craps in my room till these days...

okok i will save on the story of the psycho ask sarah and jen for more infrmation.. the thing is that i am moving into a better place and a potential hse that i will enjoy well not sure on that but i have a feeling this is going to be gd.. so peeps i will email my new hse addie asap when i am settled down :D

and yea i have so much to do now.. sch is like offical started for me.. and i am still alil off the earth but i am confident that i am still attending my classes hoping i will excel better than the summer.. speaking of which the weather now is like turnin so much better.. is like the best weather of all.. i mean loads of sunshine and cooling breeze and yea its like autum liao.. and not to mention my parents and bro is like dropping by to see me this coming month coz they are heading to Franfurt, Germany for a motor show.. so yea dropping by to see me :D hahha

i wan to go back to singapore! lolx.. yea i misses home still and yea i have a great news will be coming home next year june.. coz my visa expires on that month so i have to return home to get it done.. haha. great excuse rite hahha

*cheerx

2004-09-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

i'm safe and back home already.. back to the town of interlectual.. apart from me..

i realli dun wan to be back here.. its too much emotions and missing back in Singapore that i felt i am not ready to leave everithing and be here.. i know ultimately i have to do wat i am suppose to do.. but my heart and feelings tells me that its home that i belong

this feeling realli is too much for me.. for many atimes i question myself is it worth it to be back and having this post-home-missing-sydrome and that if i weren't be back i cld have avoid it.. but i know deep down..i am living my days to be back to Singapore.. to see all my love ones and my soul..

perhaps its the fabulous time i have back home made it worst to let go.. all the times i have with my friends.. sitting down hanging out and realised that time has flew so fast we are at our different track of life but yet gathered by the common interest of love for each others.. seeing all of them growing up.taking things at different perceptive and making marks of their lives which they haven seen .. all in all the difference but the laughters of true happiness. the silly crappy child in us and the geniune love for each other makes it all so much to let go for me..

not to mention meeting new ppl of my life that are so true and diverse that showed me so much more than my tots.. and making me realised that is not all i am in this world but all of us that make up this world

or even the simple yet so familiar smell of the streets at home.. the nv dying lights of orchard road.. the sounds and noise of the enitre spore makes it my home.. the place i lived for many years.. the place i am mould and guided... and lastly the place i called home that i am missing so badly

lastly.. i jux wanna to thanks everione .. every single one of u has make it all possible for this trip and making me realised that though i am miles away frm u guys there's always a place in spore and u that i am living...thank u for all the emotions of love.happiness.sillyness.missing and tears of joy that i shared with everyone..

*love u all always

2004-09-05T06:45:00.001-07:00

happy girls

2004-09-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

3 sis!

2004-09-05T06:44:00.003-07:00

hahah dumb face

2004-09-05T06:44:00.002-07:00

hahah stupid face

2004-09-05T06:44:00.001-07:00

jenny and yoges

2004-09-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

meandraine

2004-09-05T06:43:00.003-07:00

me and jen

2004-09-05T06:43:00.002-07:00

me and nad!

2004-09-05T06:43:00.001-07:00

yoges! hahah she hates the tea

2004-09-05T06:43:00.000-07:00

raine.and nad at fish.&co

2004-09-05T06:41:00.001-07:00

sarah and beautiful jen¬

2004-09-05T06:41:00.000-07:00

jac and hk haha.. thats a potatoe btw

2004-09-05T06:40:00.001-07:00

mel and sarah

2004-09-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

bbq that's cindy and yoges

2004-09-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

day 7

marks another crsuhing date day... to start with i met up with mr lim hui yu and candice.. had our chats and get to know more abt each other life that we have been missing out this is gd and seeing them doing well is gd ':D esp tok alot with mr lim.. was realli happy to see candice and still as pretty as ever haha.. and yea was kinda of sad that tingz and angie cld not make it well is ok dun worry still have another time

followed on met with jen yoges rachel and sarah gosh i missed them so much and yea we had some toking session before sarah and yoges rushes off to tution...met hui xin too but more of like shake hands a few questions and etc.. and also was having some chat with jen while i sent her off to the mrt

rushed home to get change and to meet nad.raine and eric and surprsingly i managed to meet up with other 3 friends of their sch.. haha.. benny.sham royston and owen later on.. but is fun ahving them ard esp benny and sham ahah. they are like cocksters haha more like nad and her dranky mood haha.. is was hilliarious was kinda of sad when i heard that mojojo quitted his Fish and Co. bartender post and work underground haha.. well i stil hits off well with the rest of them hope to be back for more of the food

did i mention i dragged Daryl along too.. gosh that bastard has alot friends in orchard road.. and one his junior comments that i am pretty.. wth! no need u to say i also know [bitchy] hahah anyway before i head home was spending some quality time with daryl coz is like tonight its the last night i will see him in ages ... and yea i manaaged to meet up with Guthree.. who was so sweet and got me choclate cookies.. xie xie ni. thanks for that
and was suppose to meet up with ziheng.. but he forgot abt me..and headed home.. nvm at least i did tok to him that's gd

*heavy head slping now

2004-09-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Por los momentos difficlies
ya entendi que la flor mas bella
seria siempre para mi

2004-09-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

brilliant.. today is another great day :D to start with i was out to meet Darren that sound engineer.. haha.. he doesn't seems to crappy and funny until i met him.. oh btw ppl he is single and cute.. talented too.. gosh i am full priases abt him.. haha ok we met at SAke Sushi.. and yea we chatted realli lot.. to his amazment i am onli at his age of his students haha.. but i know i nv at my age.. so screw that haha.. at least we were so comfortabel with each other that i realli enjoy my day...

told me abt his nine lives story that start with the neck stuck at 3 and electricution at 4 and motorbike crush at 23 this guy is 25 and yea it was meant to be realli sad.. but he made it so funni jxu cldn;t stop laffing.. realli had a great time.. and heard his composed music OMG he is realli talented.. and i learn alot meof things from him.. gald to part of his memory and to meet him as a friend.. thank u for the lunch and hope to see u soon in uk know u will have better shine when u are in oversea dun waste ur time here

we bid goodbye and i met up with SG and max his friends.. gosh another tok cock session.. haha.. and yea i am so gald to meet up with so many ppl :D and learnt so much things

lastly i managed to catch up with hui yu and her stead.. that;s gd and yea we are meeting mr lim tml hope everithing is going to be fine and as happening as today

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wo men de ai qing gu shi

wo he ta de ai qing gu shi
jiu xiang chun kua wai mian de xiang er kwui
yi jing ku wei qiu ler

jiu he ru wo dui ta de xin qing
shi wan bu huay lai ler

bu guan shi jian de li qui duo zheng
wo men shi bu ke nen ler

qing bia guai wo
yin wei zhe shi wo de xuan zhe

020904

2004-09-01T09:15:00.000-07:00

Day 5

oh for God sake.. this killing me.. the counting down days.. hmmm.. well i was at home like the entire day.. though i was supposed to meet charlene but she was caught up with her project.. well is alrite.. i mean i totally understand poly life is so damn hectic so is the JCs are like mugging for their promos.. and i am like here nth to do :D hahah that's a pleasure so i shan complain

oh yea.. today was like so bad.. coz i was having quite bad headache.. and was like sleeping my way thru the enire day.. did not even have the bloody time to reflect on the time i am here..

so much so i did catch up with my friends on msn.. and yea its gd to see that things are doing well :D so yea i am contented liao.. nth much to complained abt :D so yea

tml another day.. i will be meeting Darren for lunch, and SG for a while and later hui yu and her bf wow.. but i still missing someone badly.. i need help no more of this relationshi crap..

*i dun wan to go back to uk

2004-09-01T05:49:00.000-07:00

sis to sis

2004-09-01T05:48:00.001-07:00

dun mess with the best

2004-09-01T05:48:00.000-07:00

sweet revenage!!!

2004-09-01T05:29:00.001-07:00

my candishot when i was to toking to my Bro

2004-09-01T05:29:00.000-07:00

candishot of aud~

2004-09-01T05:28:00.000-07:00

me and aud~~ hahah unbeatable smiles

2004-09-01T05:21:00.001-07:00

from Jas's hse the skyline of spore

2004-09-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

at TCC gwen.aug and me!!!

2004-08-31T23:40:00.000-07:00

my head feels heavy.. i seriously think that i will be falling sick soon.. mux be the terrible weather.. the temp is always rising.. okok..

DAY4

alrite yesterday was like a slow day.. supposed to meet up with some friends to go back to sec sch and visit the teachers.. coz obviously its teachers's day.. oh wellies..i overslept and none of them called so yea.. it doesn't matter anyway i dun exactly fancy going back there...

oh yea so i stayed at home like for the entire noon.. until Aud called me and asked me out for soem coffee session and yea i met her gwen and kim.. gwens' friend.. who's going off to USA for his studies.. sound familiar ???yea like me 6th months ago.. and yes.. i think i am seeing things now..this is bad.. had alot of fun talking to them at TCC and it was nice to see them they are doing well too that's gd well we chatted.. ard like for 3 hrs coz i need torush home to get change for my dinner with Jas at sinapore swimming club...

the meal was fantastic.... i love it.. and most importantly i think we are like spending some quality time to solve certain problems.. and yea..i mean i got to say he's more clam and mature to handle it.. i did realli enjoying my time with him that completed my time here

lastly like i have promised Sarah to phone.. her and guess wat we had so much fun toking craps and the bullshits.. haha.its nice lolz.. did i mention like we chatted till 4am in the morning.. thank God they are having holiday today.. if not i will be in for porblems..

conclusion.. its been a great time hanging out with my friends.. perhaps its jux that i know my time is running out as day s goes ... its like i am so scare to fall aslp coz i dun wan my time to pass away.. and i am always asking wat day izzit today.. hoping it's still the 1st day i arrived in spore.. but i know denial is not the key to everithing.. its scary that time is flying when u enjoy it so much.. futhermore..i know i will ne be back till next year xmas..

sadly.. nth everithing is in my control of my hands.. as much as i wanted to meet up with everione.. they simple can't make it.. that make it worst coz is like i feel i flew so far to see u wanting to know more abt life for yea.. this is wat i get in return.. and of cuz not everione is like dat.. sch is realli hectic and i respect that.. so yea.. well watever is it..i jux hope that things will turn out fine as i picture everday

2004-08-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

sugar*bitch